Content Warning
I'm exploring the relationship between sins/wrongdoing (morality), and actual harm caused.
As I think the two seem not always to be related.
To my #autistic brain, I think they should be entirely related.
(I suspect another factor that's been brought into the mix, sideways, is how much they threaten the status quo. Which is NOT the same thing as causing harm).
Content Warning
Rouse them at their own speed in the Dark Months. There is nothing worse than a chain reaction meltdown across multiple sleepy, grumpy, disoriented people to make sure that no one gets to school at all.
Anti-Autistic Ableism
I asked who would be on the talkback panel. She said:
• The playwright, who has an autistic daughter and based the play on his experiences.
• A social worker who works with families of autistic kids.
• A parent from the community who suggested the play, who has an autistic son.
I said, “Do you know who’s not on that list?”
She admitted they didn’t have an autistic person on the panel. She asked if I could recommend an organization to reach out to for someone to join the talkback. I said, “It has to be an autistic person.” And also, the panel shouldn’t outnumber autistic voices with people who likely believe they have the right to speak over us.
She asked how to handle the play sensitively. I said, “You can’t.” The way it portrays autistic people is so harmful that simply putting it on is damaging. It reinforces anti-autistic beliefs and plants harmful ideas in the heads of those unfamiliar with autism.
I asked if she truly believed putting this play on was the right thing to do. She said yes. I was flabbergasted—this is someone who has repeatedly gone out of her way to listen and learn from me as an autistic person.
She said she’d speak with the board and the director to figure out what they could do, then asked if I’d meet with their team the following week. I agreed.
Anti-Autistic Ableism
So, I reached out to the director and asked if he still wanted feedback. He said yes. I spent hours writing a detailed breakdown of why the play is harmful and offering suggestions to mitigate some of the damage (even though putting it on at all is harmful). My feedback was professional, thorough, and compassionate to their position.
He read it. I haven’t heard anything since. The play opens this weekend. They’re promoting it heavily, with press releases and social media posts.
I’m not going to reach out again. The onus is on them to follow up. But I’m devastated. I put in so much time and emotional labor because I thought they genuinely cared about autistic people. It hurts.
It hurts even more because the musical I directed for them earlier this year is nominated for a BWW award. They’re tagging me in posts asking people to vote for it, while simultaneously promoting this play that actively harms me and my community.
To make matters worse, around the same time, I found out the producer of another show I was in had been telling people I’m “difficult to work with” because I’m autistic. I dropped out of that show.
I don’t know how to end this except to say that I’m tired. I’m so tired. It’s hard to trust anyone when people I thought were advocates and friends turn out to be so dismissive.
Anti-Autistic Ableism
A local community #theater I work with asked me to review a play they selected after I volunteered to help them improve their autistic inclusivity. The play is about a family with an #autistic son.
They sent me the script at the beginning of October, but I was sick the entire month and couldn’t review it until early November. When I finally read it, I was specifically asked to provide guidance on how to approach the material and production sensitively and considerately.
Let me preface this by saying: I had full faith in this theater to listen to my feedback. They have consistently demonstrated a willingness to listen and learn without talking over marginalized people.
Then I read the play. And it. is. horrific.
It’s so deeply problematic in how it depicts and discusses autistic people that I was genuinely shocked.
The autistic child is functionally erased. He’s not listed as a character and doesn’t appear on stage, except for a brief optional moment. He is reduced to a literal prop in a story ostensibly about him.
The script is littered with harmful lines. Characters (who aren’t portrayed as villains) say things like how the autistic kid “doesn’t know how to enjoy life,” “doesn’t have anything to say,” and doesn’t know “how to be human.”
The story centers on the kid’s parents, whose struggles with him lead to infidelity for both of them. The only character with hiss best interests in mind, a social worker, is painted as an unsympathetic shrew for calling the parents selfish.
On top of all that, the play endorses ABA, a therapy widely criticized by autistic people as harmful and dehumanizing.
The overall message is clear: autistic people are burdens, and caring for us ruins the lives of our loved ones. It’s peak “ #autism mom” rhetoric.
I was utterly disgusted.
Anti-Autistic Ableism
I asked who would be on the talkback panel. She said:
• The playwright, who has an autistic daughter and based the play on his experiences.
• A social worker who works with families of autistic kids.
• A parent from the community who suggested the play, who has an autistic son.
I said, “Do you know who’s not on that list?”
She admitted they didn’t have an autistic person on the panel. She asked if I could recommend an organization to reach out to for someone to join the talkback. I said, “It has to be an autistic person.” And also, the panel shouldn’t outnumber autistic voices with people who likely believe they have the right to speak over us.
She asked how to handle the play sensitively. I said, “You can’t.” The way it portrays autistic people is so harmful that simply putting it on is damaging. It reinforces anti-autistic beliefs and plants harmful ideas in the heads of those unfamiliar with autism.
I asked if she truly believed putting this play on was the right thing to do. She said yes. I was flabbergasted—this is someone who has repeatedly gone out of her way to listen and learn from me as an autistic person.
She said she’d speak with the board and the director to figure out what they could do, then asked if I’d meet with their team the following week. I agreed.
Anti-Autistic Ableism
A local community #theater I work with asked me to review a play they selected after I volunteered to help them improve their autistic inclusivity. The play is about a family with an #autistic son.
They sent me the script at the beginning of October, but I was sick the entire month and couldn’t review it until early November. When I finally read it, I was specifically asked to provide guidance on how to approach the material and production sensitively and considerately.
Let me preface this by saying: I had full faith in this theater to listen to my feedback. They have consistently demonstrated a willingness to listen and learn without talking over marginalized people.
Then I read the play. And it. is. horrific.
It’s so deeply problematic in how it depicts and discusses autistic people that I was genuinely shocked.
The autistic child is functionally erased. He’s not listed as a character and doesn’t appear on stage, except for a brief optional moment. He is reduced to a literal prop in a story ostensibly about him.
The script is littered with harmful lines. Characters (who aren’t portrayed as villains) say things like how the autistic kid “doesn’t know how to enjoy life,” “doesn’t have anything to say,” and doesn’t know “how to be human.”
The story centers on the kid’s parents, whose struggles with him lead to infidelity for both of them. The only character with hiss best interests in mind, a social worker, is painted as an unsympathetic shrew for calling the parents selfish.
On top of all that, the play endorses ABA, a therapy widely criticized by autistic people as harmful and dehumanizing.
The overall message is clear: autistic people are burdens, and caring for us ruins the lives of our loved ones. It’s peak “ #autism mom” rhetoric.
I was utterly disgusted.
